agressive + defensive + violent = afraid + ignorant

hi, it's me again, back !

last night i was sitting in my room watching tv , suddenly i saw simothing relativly big flying in kinda hazardous way, i felt like it's a bee or some kind of grass hoppers or ugly butterflies.. i paniced & all i thought of doing was to pick up my slipper & ATTACK !

i caught the moment it rested on the table & i kept on whipping ithard & continiously till i knew it's dead.. but it didn't die ! it was trying to move all the time.. while beating it & focusing on ending this creature, in panic , i tried to figure it out.. WHAT WAS THAT CREATURE ??

all i could notice or remeber that its body was like that of little crocodile or " borss" which is a disgisting creature in our culture, it had too many little arms with fingers i suppose -which it kept moving , it had wings, its body felt strong & " strange"

anyway, i can't tell what that creature was.. but let me think it out loud now,

• i didn't know what that thing was, i 'm obiviously much larger & powerful than it is -from an insect/ human being prespective , but all i focused on was killing &termiating it.
• my panic deprived me the chance of getting to know such " new strange creature " , which many may not meet in their lives, & itcould have made me special knowing it.
• why did i get so paniced from such " insect"? IS IT ONLY COZ I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS? COZ I 'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE?
• IS JUST THAT I " CATEGORIZED " that creature as insect or stinging flies taht made me take such attitude?
• could that creature have been very beautiful one like beautiful butterflies or something if i took a better look @ it.. in unstressful situation.. in a non- predefined image or emotion towards such " category " of creatures ?
• why was killing it & terminating it the only option that immideately poped up in my head?
• why using violence was the ONLY & BEST option?
• was there any other options my PANIC & PRE-DEFINED categorization- image-prespective-emotion prevented me of considering?
• COULD GIVING MY SELF THE CHANCE TO THINK & ACT CALMLY HAVE GRANTED ME A BETTER EXPERIENE / REACTION / BENIFIT ..MAY B FRIENDSHIP ?!!
• AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOING THAT ?
• AM I THE ONLY ONE THINKING LIKE THAT?

i don't know , but this is how i see it

AGRESSIVE + DEFENSIVE + VIOLENT = AFRAID + IGNORANT + LOOSER