Hi, it's me again,back!
In the forest where none may pass
but me, I opened up my eyes on a new level of sobriety. Stroked by an infinite
beam of warm noon light penetrating layers and layers of green thick leaves
ceiling the forest, I found myself. Alone.
“How the hell I got here?” the
question kept banging in my head, I was too taken aback that I couldn’t believe
what was going on.
I tried to open my eyes to scan the
place; I kept searching for people, for anyone to get me out of here. I was too
obsessed with the idea of people finding me, and what they must be thinking of
me now, and if I were missed by anybody.
After hearing nothing but the
screams of my inner thoughts of how people outside are going to save me, I
decided I should stand up and move around, I knew I should.
I walked in the forest. It was
crowded with so many trees, shading everything I needed to see, I found plants
everywhere, with every step taken, I had to crush some creatures and avoid others.
A beautiful flower I stepped on because I missed seeing, or a special rare
plant I under estimated. Too many plants I didn’t know were ruined as I walked,
later I saw when I looked back.
Speared by the desire of being found,
and just getting out of here, I was blind to a lot of beauty and wonders, and
just kept walking.
The sound of the buzzing mosquitoes
was killing me; turning my frazzled existence into hell, along with the scent
of damp fog drowning my lungs. Ascending as time was passing me by, with the
fading hope of being saved, stress was there, spiking its painful thorns out of
my head. I needed to know where I came from and see ahead my destination, as
otherwise it was my preset definition of doomed Lost.
As the sun was moving down, as so was my hopes for salvage, my fears
were rising up.
I was haunted by my mind’s ghosts.
Every step I took heading towards that darkness webbing my horizon, my heart
was stung by a scary thought; I saw snakes stinging my blood with their daring
attacking eyes, I could feel the pain of
poisonous spiders cleaving my intestines , I could hear my screams echoing in infectious
mud holes that were to swallow me in any moment. I was dread by every tree stem
I passed by, thinking it would expand itself & strangle me, slowly, leaving
my motionless on its cold rough razored trunk. Bleeding.
As my heart beats were speeding,
drumming louder and louder, my restless eyes moving randomly, erratically, frequently,
everywhere without sight.
I was chained by my ghosts, left between either
moving forward, facing my ghosts and impelling them away, making my own passage
for the truth, defying every monster hiding behind every tree ahead ready to
take me down, defying myself as a prey, or drowning in my whirlpool of fears
and illusions. I had to choose.
The moment I made the choice, I was
alone no more. I felt HIM inside me,
securing my heart, sharpening my sight removing all my distractions and shadows,
making me see what I needed to see. With every step I took, armored with
courage and faith I became. By the darkness of my demons, I was baptized.
As I kept moving, with a heart of a child
ringing joyful excitement exploring the world, the light kept dawning
glamorously and I saw the forest revelations; beauty to enjoy, wonders to
explore, peace and solitude that deserved gratitude.
Such a night it was, in the forest that
made me realize that it’s all about me, choices I have to make, fears I can
conquer, and the faith I needed to see.
About my destination, I never knew.
I never cared.
I was the one creating my forest,
for I knew that every step I was taking was northed to HIM, and gets me closer.
Free.
For me, that was enough.
