little DRAMA

hi,it's me again, back !
what about chases.. fast running through the night.. through dark moon- lighted wet crowded streets.. jumping.. danger.. falling in love with a vampire .. staying up all night..watching sun rise..war..great courageous men.. smart stunning women…glory.. violence..resistance..big fights.. serious quarrels..conflict.. or a knife on ur throat .. or a revolver at ur head?
what about some romance? red or pink flowers.. or white fresh flowers at ur door step in the morning , wild rides in the rain, flying above the clouds .. horse rides by the sea at sun rise ,Paris cafes , Cairo streets, Turkish houses, downtown, bright colors, wild dances, moves & moves ,tango , hot salsa, crazy hip hop , passion , tenderness ,…………, vengeance .. forgiveness.. sacrifices.. choices .. magic .. dreams.. fantasies .. psychos .. sickness.. death?
True love .. true friendship .. close fatherhood.. friendly motherhood..betrayal .. faithfulness..values.. beliefs..era.. past.. future..history ?
Horses, planes , guns , speed cars, big plans , secrets , childish play , crisis , peak , revenge, spells , super power, surprise ,thundering sea , cold stormy wind , fire , blood ?
At the edge of high building , high mountain , up on some fast train , or hiding under some bridge ?
U .. the super HERO.. the great fascination talent..Mr big deal.. who knows the big secret .. the smart guy who really knows too much.. who’s qualified ,who can decide fast , who does all the math in a blink .. who can act fast… who makes strategies…u r the one who saves the world? Who does it right? Who fights tyrants ? who stands up for his beliefs ? Who changes the world?...yeah change.. some change ..real change.. political..social.. emotional .. revolutionary .. spiritual.. even climatic!
Any change.. any action .. any true feelings.. anything true !
Some life …
But what about me .. left here … among some ridiculous simulation to life .. no space.. no space for anything real..just stupid themes .. modes .. all preloaded.. some preloaded life .. stereotype scenarios.. uniform boring routine.. everyday just like the other.. same things to do.. same people to meet.. same words to say.. same work to do.. the same NOTHING to live .. the same NOTHING to feel.. same tracks to follow .. same looks to put .. same reactions to act.. in REAL life..
DON’T U THINK IT’S SO BORING? & U .. IDLE & BORING AS WELL ? kinda helpless ? clueless ? lost? Undefined ? so RANDOM?

u.. chained with ur dreams..wishes..fantasies .. & illusions ..always searching for excitement , pleasure, magic, spectacular shows, success, achievement , euphoria, high euphoria.. so this is how u do it.. go to the net, open youtube .. or TV..watch movies..non stop movies.. or fly away with ur imagination .. urself..dive more & more into urself.. u & only u!

coz reality ain't that much fun or pleasure or exciting .. in my real world ..i'm unqualified.. or well qualified to do nothing .. i'm no hero.. actually i'm invisible.. i'm busted into too much traffic, silliness, idle people & stories & causes & events!

i'm just like having too much potential..dreams.. emotion ..that i don't know what to do..i don't know what i want.. not anymore.. & perhaps not ever!

little drama.. but it adds too much boredom & steadiness & idlism to my life..or to the way i c my life!

toooooo much unstatisfaction..always incomplete .. always unsatisfied!
is it enough ?? feeling HIGH most of the time ? feeling good? like u like urself? like u important?like u effective? like u know what u r doing? like u know what u want? like u know who u r & what u've got? like playing the game right? like u r GOOD?

like having good company.. like being in the right time..right place .. like finding LOVE .. ur soulmate? like knowing what u r living for?

may b this little DRAMA ..is the antisipant till i find my real life.. it's my sweet DRUG!till i make my own movie ..where i'm the hero .. i'm the values.. i'm the belief ..

GUIDE ME NOW OR DRUG ME FOREVER!

does it make u feel safe?

hi, it's me again,back !

does it make u feel safe?

rubbing ur feel in a blanket .. in the cold winter nights

holding u tight..

hearing ur silent tear drops

does it make u feel safe?

if i touched ur face..

& wiped them out?

does it make u feel safe?

listening to ur eyes..

reading them all

without saying a word..

knowing it all

does it make u feel safe?

taking u on my wings..

through all of the crowds..

through all of the clouds..

& fly away

does it make u feel safe?

if i whispered to u

holy verses

al korseii wal ma3oozatain

& held ur hands strong in mine..

does it make u feel safe?

does it make u feel safe?

nowhere man

hi, it's me again, back!

the beatles..

He's a real nowhere man

Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody
Doesn't have a point of view

Knows not where he's going to

Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere Man, please listen

You don't know what you're missing

Nowhere Man, the world is at your command
He's as blind as he can be

Just sees what he wants to see

Nowhere Man can you see me at all?
Nowhere Man, don't worry

Take your time, don't hurry

Leave it all till somebody else lends you a hand
Doesn't have a point of view

Knows not where he's going to

Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere Man, please listen

You don't know what you're missing

Nowhere Man, the world is at your command
He's a real Nowhere Man

Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

3aza

hi,it's me again, back!

today ana kont f 3aza, i was very touched , assuming that the dead person was young.. i don't know if it makes a real big difference, i just took a look on my life.. i tried to imagine how my 3aza could b.. & how i want it to b ..

i want it 2 b crowded with many people that knows me .. or each knows a side of me , like good at her work , like pioneer , like friendly with a nice smile , like talented , like smart , like tayeba awe, like kant gada3a , like w2fet ganby , like sha5seiia mo7tarama , like we did a lot of projects together , like we did a lot of 5eir together , we had a lot of fun together, like et3allemna mnha ,.... may b that's how i want it,

but if i died tomorrow, perhaps this is how it's gonna b..

very few people , lonely , only my family & some rrelatives r there , sad , crying, & may b my mom will go mad , so little friends .. yemken mosh haykamello hands fingers ... just couple of hours will pass -& except 4 my family - nothing changed, .. & nobody cares.

coz this is how i lived my life..

lonely , isolated , staying away from people , running away , can't communicate , i don't know how to make successful continious communication , shy, don't talk much on phones , don't hang out with anyone on thursedays , wander the club all my life all alone , don't meet my relatives much or even stay in touch , no visitors or guests ever come to our house.. it's doomed!

i don't do any activitiy since graduation , may b i'm lazy & like sleeping too much , i don't have much friends, i only have few & i don't communicate often, i'm not proven special at anything yet, i do nothing, i'm too pussy to do anything, to hesitated & confused to take any move , i'm not studying anything seriously now except for music , tooo hesitated & airy to decide anythingfor myself , can't make any continious strong mental or social relationship , not taking any serious or smart moves in m 'career' ,i'm living my life whinning & waiting for help, waiting for some miracle, mostly living my life like some peaceful fair shadow .. only shadow!

yeah, a lot of me seems to b 'fake', not real enough? was too consumed with my 'image'!

some people may just remember my shoutings w soty el 3aly yom el gom3a, may b arrogance, may b cruelty w 7edda shdeeda m3aha , ......... i don't know, but i know that nobody does know anything!

anyway, does any of this matter ? will i really care then ? does it make a difference then if i lived my life happily or not? enjoyed it to the bone or not ?

i guess all that matters , howwa reddak ya rabbe 3alaiia, ennak t2bal towbaty w este3'fary, tsam7ny 3ala essrafy w da3fy.. w 3'aflety ,all i can say now

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

استغفر الله الذي لا إلا إلا هو الحي القيوم و أتوب إليه

اللهم مغفرتك أوسع من ذنبي اللهم رحمتك أرجى من عملي

يا حي يا قيوم برحمتك أستغيث اصلح لى شأني كله و لا تكلني لنفسي ولو لبرهه

اللهم نفعنى بما علمتني و علمني ما ينفعني و زدني علما

سبحان الله و بحمدك عدد خلقك و رضا نفسك و زنة عرشك و مداد كلماتك

اللهم لك الحمد كما ينبغي لجلال وجهك و عظيم سلطانك

لا اله إلا أنت سبحــــــــــــــــــانك إني كنت من الظالمين

اللهم بارك لى في عمري

و صل اللهم و سلم و بارك على سيدنا محمد و على آله و صحبه اجمعين

u & me .. the same !

hi , it's me again, back!

in the past week i had to think more about u .. actually feel u ..& guess what i found.. harmony!

u & me .. r the same !

high potential .. some qualification .. neither i nor u know what to do with it!

i can't find my dream .. neither do u have a vision or project or goal .. u don't know where u r going to !

we r both living the same chaeos .. the same mess !

we r both searching for the "MAN" who 'll guide us through "w ye3raf eemetna" .. & help us out!

we both have values lost in corruption - no system- no justice atmospheres !

we both don't know what to do .. both out of place .. both out of time !

2assyeen awe 3ala ba3d.. yemken b nekrah ba3d .. bs malnash 3eir ba3d .. !

u & me.. living yet not alive !

i need u .. u need me..

i'm ur way out & u r my way out !

ana wente ya masr !

honesty

hi, it's me again , back !

If you search for tenderness it isn't hard to find.

You can have the love you need to live.

But if you look for truthfulness You might just as well be blind.

It always seems to be so hard to give.

Honesty is such a lonely word.

Everyone is so untrue.

Honesty is hardly ever heard.

And mostly what I need from you.

I can always find someone to say they sympathize.

If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.

But I don't want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies.

All I want is someone to believe.

Honesty is such a lonely word.

Everyone is so untrue.

Honesty is hardly ever heard.

And mostly what I need from you.

I can find a lover.

I can find a friend.

I can have security until the bitter end.

Anyone can comfort me with promises again.

I know, I know.

When I'm deep inside of me don't be too concerned.

I won't as for nothin' while I'm gone.

But when I want sincerity tell me where else can I turn.

Because you're the one I depend upon.

Honesty is such a lonely word.

Everyone is so untrue.

Honesty is hardly ever heard.

And mostly what I need from you.

طالما مصدق تبقى بتحب

hi, it's me again, back!

على اسم مصر التاريخ يقدر يقول ما شاء
أنا مصر عندي أحب وأجمل الأشياء
بحبها وهي مالكة الأرض شرق وغرب
وبحبها وهي مرمية جريحة حرب
بحبها بعنف وبرقة وعلى استحياء
واكرهها وألعن أبوها بعشق زي الداء
واسيبها واطفش في درب وتبقى هي ف درب
وتلتفت تلاقيني جنبها في الكرب
والنبض ينفض عروقي بألف نغمة وضرب
على اسم مصر
مصر النسيم في الليالي وبياعين الفل
ومرايه بهتانة ع القهوة .. أزورها .. واطل
القى النديم طل من مطرح منا طليت
والقاها برواز معلق عندنا في البيت
فيه القمر مصطفى كامل حبيب الكل
المصري باشا بشواربه اللي ما عرفوا الذل
ومصر فوق في الفراندة واسمها جولييت
ولما جيت بعد روميو بربع قرن بكيت
ومسحت دموعي في كمي ومن ساعتها وعيت
على اسم مصر
أنا اللي اسمي حتحـور .. أنا بنت رع
مثـال الأمـومـة ورمـز الحـنـان
تفـيض حـلمـاتي وتمـلا الـتـرع
وتسـقـي البـشـر كلهـم والغـيـطان
نهايته يا مصر اللي كانت أصبحت وخلاص
تمثال بديع وانفه في الطين غاص
وناس من البدو شدوا عليه حبال الخيش
والقرص رع العظيم بقى صاج خبيز للعيش
وساق محارب قديم مبتورة ف أبو قرقاص
ما تعرف اللي بترها سيف والا رصاص
والا الخراب اللي صاب عقل البلد بالطيش
قال ابن خلدون أمم متفسخة تعيش ليش
وحصان صهل صحى جميع الجيش
على اسم مصر
النخل في العالي والنيل ماشي طوالي
معكوسة فيه الصـور .. مقلوبة وانا مالي
يا ولاد أنا ف حالي زي النقش في العواميد
زي الهلال اللي فوق مدنة بنوها عبيد
وزي باقي العبيد باجري على عيالي
باجري وخطوي وئيد من تقل أحمالي
محنيه قامتي .. وهامتي كأن فيها حديد
وعينيا رمل العريش فيها وملح رشيد
لكني بافتحها زي اللي اتولدت من جديد
على اسم مصر
مصر .. التلات أحرف الساكنة اللي شاحنة ضجيج
زوم الهوا وطقش موج البحر لما يهيج
وعجيج حوافر خيول بتجر زغروطة
حزمة نغم صعب داخلة مسامعي مقروطة
في مسامي مضغوطه مع دمي لها تعاريج
ترع وقنوات سقت من جسمي كل نسيج
وجميع خيوط النسيج على نبرة مربوطة
أسمعها مهموسة والا أسمعها مشخوطة
شبكة رادار قلبي جوه ضلوعي مضبوطة
على اسم مصر
وترن من تاني نفس النبرة في وداني
ومؤشر الفرحة يتحرك في وجداني
وأغاني واحشاني باتذكرها ما لهاش عد
فيه شيء حصل أو بيحصل أو حيحصل جد
أو ربما الأمر حالة وجد واخداني
انا اللي ياما الهوى جابني ووداني
وكلام على لساني جاني لابد أقوله لحد
القمح ليه اسمه قمح اليوم وأمس وغد
ومصر يحرم عليها .. والجدال يشتد
على اسم مصر

لو مصدق تبقى بجد بتحب

على اسم مصر التاريخ يقدر يقول ما شاء
أنا مصر عندي أحب وأجمل الأشياء
بحبها وهي مالكة الأرض شرق وغرب
وبحبها وهي مرمية جريحة حرب
بحبها بعنف وبرقة وعلى استحياء
واكرهها وألعن أبوها بعشق زي الداء
واسيبها واطفش في درب وتبقى هي ف درب
وتلتفت تلاقيني جنبها في الكرب
والنبض ينفض عروقي بألف نغمة وضرب
على اسم مصر
مصر النسيم في الليالي وبياعين الفل
ومرايه بهتانة ع القهوة .. أزورها .. واطل
القى النديم طل من مطرح منا طليت
والقاها برواز معلق عندنا في البيت
فيه القمر مصطفى كامل حبيب الكل
المصري باشا بشواربه اللي ما عرفوا الذل
ومصر فوق في الفراندة واسمها جولييت
ولما جيت بعد روميو بربع قرن بكيت
ومسحت دموعي في كمي ومن ساعتها وعيت
على اسم مصر
أنا اللي اسمي حتحـور .. أنا بنت رع
مثـال الأمـومـة ورمـز الحـنـان
تفـيض حـلمـاتي وتمـلا الـتـرع
وتسـقـي البـشـر كلهـم والغـيـطان
نهايته يا مصر اللي كانت أصبحت وخلاص
تمثال بديع وانفه في الطين غاص
وناس من البدو شدوا عليه حبال الخيش
والقرص رع العظيم بقى صاج خبيز للعيش
وساق محارب قديم مبتورة ف أبو قرقاص
ما تعرف اللي بترها سيف والا رصاص
والا الخراب اللي صاب عقل البلد بالطيش
قال ابن خلدون أمم متفسخة تعيش ليش
وحصان صهل صحى جميع الجيش
على اسم مصر
النخل في العالي والنيل ماشي طوالي
معكوسة فيه الصـور .. مقلوبة وانا مالي
يا ولاد أنا ف حالي زي النقش في العواميد
زي الهلال اللي فوق مدنة بنوها عبيد
وزي باقي العبيد باجري على عيالي
باجري وخطوي وئيد من تقل أحمالي
محنيه قامتي .. وهامتي كأن فيها حديد
وعينيا رمل العريش فيها وملح رشيد
لكني بافتحها زي اللي اتولدت من جديد
على اسم مصر
مصر .. التلات أحرف الساكنة اللي شاحنة ضجيج
زوم الهوا وطقش موج البحر لما يهيج
وعجيج حوافر خيول بتجر زغروطة
حزمة نغم صعب داخلة مسامعي مقروطة
في مسامي مضغوطه مع دمي لها تعاريج
ترع وقنوات سقت من جسمي كل نسيج
وجميع خيوط النسيج على نبرة مربوطة
أسمعها مهموسة والا أسمعها مشخوطة
شبكة رادار قلبي جوه ضلوعي مضبوطة
على اسم مصر
وترن من تاني نفس النبرة في وداني
ومؤشر الفرحة يتحرك في وجداني
وأغاني واحشاني باتذكرها ما لهاش عد
فيه شيء حصل أو بيحصل أو حيحصل جد
أو ربما الأمر حالة وجد واخداني
انا اللي ياما الهوى جابني ووداني
وكلام على لساني جاني لابد أقوله لحد
القمح ليه اسمه قمح اليوم وأمس وغد
ومصر يحرم عليها .. والجدال يشتد
على اسم مصر

كلمات الرائع صلاح جاهين

و لو مصدق تبقى بجد بتحب

????

hi, it's me again, back!

my head will explode out of pain !

i'm so sad , so lonely , do idle !

i feel like going crazy .. i hate everybody around me .. feel like complete failure .. ocmpletely lost .. i'm so bored wih every little detail !

i wanna _____________________________________________

narrow straight line

Hi, it's me again, back !
Be aware of what u wish for..
This what happens .. all ur life .. everything .. moving within some narrow straight line .. nothing changes.. steady .. everything is very usual .. boring .. predictable .. traditional .. acceptable .. right .. safe .. secure .. committed .. good .. everything is moving within a narrow straight rigid line.

Can't u dream wild ? think wild ? dance wild ? ride the wind ? stay up the night? What about the Mediterranean at night ? under the rain ? in the cold ? on horses ? black ?

What about euphoria ? what about passion ? integrity ? honesty ? courage ? freedom ? innocence ? truth ? hope ? faith ? belief ? doing the right thing no matter what ? saying the right thing no matter what ? daring eyes ? how often do u 'dare' ?

ur soul ? youth ? the flower power ? lifetime ?

random ? hazardous ? bohemian ?

surely i don't care how u live ur life .. just b aware of the other life .. it's demanding .

just be aware of what u wish for !

هي دي الحدوتة

مارضاش

يخاصم القمر السما

ما رضاش تدوس البشر بعضها

مارضاش يموت جوه قلبي نداء

ما رضاش تهاجر الجذور أرضها

ما رضاش قلبي جوا يغني واجراس تدق لصرخة ميلاد

تموت حته مني

الاجراس بتعلن نهاية بشر من العباد

دي الحكمة قتلتني و حيتني وخلتني أغوص في قلب السر

قلب الكون قبل الطوفان ما ييجي

خلتني أخاف عليك يا مصرواحكيلك على المكنون

مين العاقل فينا مين مجنون

مين الي مدبوح من الألم

مين اللي ظالم فينا مين مظلوم

مين اللي ما يعرفش غير كلمة نعم

مين اللي محميلك خضار الفلاحين غلابة

مين اللي محميلك عمار عمالك الطيابة

مين اللي ببيع الضمير مين يشتري مين يشتري بيه الدمار

مين هو صاحب المسألة والمشكلة والحكاية والقلم

رأيت كل شيء وتعبت على الحقيقة

قابلت في الطريق عيون كتيرة بريئة

أعرف بشر عرفوني لأ لأ ما عرفونيش

قبلوني وقبلتهم

بمد ايدي لك طب ليه ما تقبلنيش

لا يهمني اسمك لا يهمني عنوانك

لا يهمني لونك ولا ولادك ومكانك

يهمني الانسان ولو ما لوش عنوان

يا ناس يا ناس

هي دي الحدوته

حدوته مصرية

the rule of all

Hi, it's me again, back !
Here's the rule of all rules .. it implies to EVERYTHING. .
RUBBISH IN …. RUBBISH OUT
GOOD INPUT ….. GOOD OUT PUT
??? INPUT ….. ??? OUTPUT
It implies to love , work , choices , education , thoughts , dema3' , tarbeia , exercises.. LIFE .

sweet anger

Hi,it's me again, back !
I like it .. I like that sweet kind of anger
Where there's no cursing.. no names .. no shouting.. no quarrelling.. no fighting ..
Just angry looks .. those looks , O , they say it all .. they say it!
How dare u .. they say it!
Don't u .. they say it!
Shame on u.. they say it!
I refuse that... they say it!
Not with me.. they say it!
…………………………………………
They say it right through .. directly .. in a peaceful way.

the bad guy !

Hi,it's me again , back!

he's always there .. everywhere u go .. He's "Mr bad guy" !
He's the one u meet at work .. or elsewhere, sometimes among groups u search for him , he's the one most groups agree and unite on rejecting .. Or even hating .. he's the bad guy !
At work , for example , u feel like .. u say .. like ..
he's the 'ridiculous' one , 'abo at2l damm' , his jokes r no fun , he's the one u all feel different in his 'trbeiia' and weird behaviors , the one who sucks up to the boss , who does the work all alone .. shares no knowledge no experience with anyone .. Thinking 'LOSE-WIN ' all the time .. and may b " m2assfenaty"
he's the one u see or ' want to c' all u hate about work in him.
U all agree on rejecting him .. he's the centre of ur disgust and offensive jokes .. u talk behind his back .. joke behind his back .. let him in no activity or subject .. u reject him .
I'm not here to talk about who's right & who's wrong , or who deserves what ,
I just noticed that in every group or community people tend to find or classify "the bad guy" , just take care that u may go so unfair and unjust – in a very unconscious way ,& here's the danger .. the 'bad guy' figure gives u the right – specially among groups – to cross lines in an unconscious way , carefree way !
So, just remember that EVERYTHING COUNTS !

!hey you

hi, it's me again, back !

hey u !

what's wrong with u .. howwa ente bttetchattary 3aleia ana bs??

when i tell u that i'm tired.. i am really tired .. when i tell u that i wanna go .. that's coz staying can't do u or work or the whole life any good !.. coz i was tired..

i don't expect u to know how i feel ..

but i refuse that u indirectly accuse me of lying or faking sickness..

hey u !

i don't care if u believe me or not .. don't care if u care or not .. though it would 've been 'decent' if u told me 'salamtek'

but u tell me i'm faking or lying or not commited..

i refuse that.. DON'T U !!

just wanted u to know

Hi, it's me again, back !
I just want u to know that everyday .. every single day in my life .. in the middle of the night .. every night ..
I wanna run to u .. tell u how much I love u .. how much I miss u ..how beautiful u r .. how sorry I am for letting hours go without being with u .. talking to u .. listening to u .. tell u how lucky I am to have u .. how happy I am to b yours .. how stupid I am for ever treating u bad .. tell u how precious u r .. how tender u r .. how I need u .. & how sorry I am !
But u r always sleeping .. and I go sleep too !
May b I never have the chance or time to tell u this ..
But I just wanted u to know .

tired

Hi, it's me again, back !
I'm so tired.. I'm not in harmony with my heart beats.. feel like wanna fall .. with terrible pain in my legs .. centered in 'semmana' all along the leg .. feel so close to headache .. like all my energy is fading away !

I'm not ashamed of pain .. e7L for everything :-)