Tuesday, January 18, 2011

هو انت فاكره انك لما تمسكي بالقلم الحبر الأسود .. وتحفري به الورق
يبقى انت عارفه .. ولَا محدده ؟؟
عايزه تفهميني ..انك متأكدة ؟؟!!
حسمتي أمرك .. سمعتي قلبك .. صدقتي روحك..
طب اكتبي .. ياللا اكتبي
و قوللى كل اللي نفسك فية .. بتحلمي بيه .. اللى انتي عايزه
لو انتي عايزه .. يعني لو بتعرفي!
و لَا أقولك .. اصرخي ..
اقعدي زعقي .. و الكوبايات عالشمال لو عايزه تكسري
بس تانى هاترجعي ..
و زي ما انتي هاتفضلي .
.......
و يضحك و ينفث دخانه...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

another rainy day

Hi, it’s me again, back!

Here’s another winter day.. & it’s raining
Another crowded day ..& she’s lonely
Another valentine’s .. she ‘s blue
It’s all outside.. she’s indoors
It’s cold outside..she’s cold inside
It’s wet out side .. she’s crying
Everything outside is moving..green leaves r flying.. kids playing
Lovers dancing .. friends laughing .. & lights flashing
It’s cold outside ..night’s falling..
It’s raining..
& alone… she’s waiting..

Thursday, January 6, 2011

windmills of my mind!!

Round
like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel.
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnaval balloon
Like a carousell that's turning
Running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it's face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind
Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of it's own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream.
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it's face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind
Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle your head
Why did summer go so quickly
Was it something that I said
Lovers walking allong the shore,
Leave their footprints in the sand
Was the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand
Pictures hanging in a hallway
And a fragment of this song
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair
Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the circle that you find
In the windmills of your mind
Pictures hanging in a hallway
And the fragment of this song
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair
Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

رحل الجسد

Hi, it’s me again,back !& I don’t care if it’s been a long time!

رحل الجسد ..
جسد كان يضمني ..
جسد كان يسجنك ..
جسد كان يريحنى..
جسد كان يؤلمك ..
جسد كان يتحرك في كل الزوايا..
يطاردنى..
يفاجئنى..
يغدق فراغي بعبير وجودك..
ولم يترك لي الآن سوى الفراغ
رحل الجسد
رحلت يد كنت أُقًبلها..
رحلت عين كنت صُورتها..
رحلت شفاه كانت تُسًبح دعوات لصغيرتها..
رحلت بطن انبتتني بداخلها..
و كانت لي سكناَ
رحل قلب كنت اتحسس نبضاته..
خفقاته و انتكاساته..
رحل الجسد..
وبقيت الذكرى..
بقيت لعبه .. ودعابه ..و ضحكه
بقيت كلمه .. و عِبره
و بقيت أنا .. وحدي
مع شوقي .. مع حزني ..
مع عجزي .. مع لهثي
وراء أشباح الذكرى
على ساعة بلا دَقه
أصرخ و أصرخ .. و لا سمعَى
فقد رحل الجسد
و لم يتبقى لي سوى الذكرى
سوي الدعاء .. و الحب .. و الندم ..و الًلوعه
في عالم مصيره الفناء
how i miss u..
now i know that ur love was too big for me to understand..
ALLAH YER7AMEK..

Saturday, January 1, 2011

about death ..

hi , it's me again, back!
about death.. loosing someone dear.. i lost my mama !!
here's some of what i found out..
it's about deep sadness.. sadness u can't give reasons for.. it's about losing the taste of everything.. u smile..u laugh.. but u r not happy.. it's like living as a ghost !
it's when u get obssessed with a dream u can c her in.. for 1 more gesture..1 more look.. 1 last conversation..
always u wonder.. does she know how i feel now.. does she know how much i love her.. how much i miss her .. how much i need her.. does she know i feel.. that i know it now.. i know what i should've known long before.. ???? ...... !!!! .
how all these thoughts haunt me.. & bang cruely violently inside my head.
this PAIN squeezing my heart.. this non-stop torture!
but what if...
what if she's happy now?
what if all her PAIN is over now.. all WEAKNESS is over now.. nothing to worry about now.. no more struggling .. only happiness & pleasure.. the absolute conception & now she's " aware " of everything.. now she knows.. & now she has everything TRUE..
EVERYTHING IS TRUE..
NOTHING TO LOSE..
NO FEAR..
NO PAIN..
NO LOSS..
ABSOLUTE FREEDOM..
ABSOLUTE PRICELESS PLEASURE..
ABSOLUTE RELEIF..
what if only now she can hear me.. know me.. feel me.. BE with me like never before..
what if she's in the better place now..much better that i can't even b compared with any thing i've seen or known or enjoyed or could ever have on this earth ..
what if i'm just so selfish that i only want her here with me despite all the pain
& suffering she could have faced by staying here.. "beside me" !!
what if i can -only now- give her everyday a present.. send her my love every moment..ANYTIME..
what if i could talk to her anytime or anywhere now?
what if she's -only now- doesen't worry about me & feels "tranquille" .."mettammena"..
what if she's with me more time than she could ever had before?? & i just don't know it!
what if i'm just wasting my left chances with her by crying & squeezing my heart out & losing control of my life?
what if death was the begining of something great i can dedicate to her??
what if she knows how i love her?
what if she knows how i miss her.. how i need her?
what if all that doesn't really matter to her now?
what if she she forgave me ..?
what if she'll forgive me by time..?
all i can say now.. REST IN PEACE MAMA..
ALLAH YER7AMEK YA OMMI ....

من داخل اللعنة

لا ما تقول بنقدر بعد نعيد الكان
لا لا ما فرقنا الزمان
النهاية انت اللي اخترها
واحلامك انت اللي هجرتها
هاك الليلة شو تركتلي
الا الاحزان
كنت وين؟؟؟؟؟
كنت وين؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
لما دموعي غرقت فيها
ووجعني جنون لياليها
يا هالكذبة العم تسكني طلعي مني
يا هاللعبة العم تكسرني بعدي عني
وقف ما بدي اسمعلك
بحبك وما بدي ارجعلك
انت قلبي!!!!!انا قلبي قتلو الزمان
يمكن ناطر قلك اهلا بعد غياب
وبكلمة حلوة شرعلك هالبواب
والغيلك عمري المجروح
اللي من حبسو صرخ مدبوح
بس لو تعرف شو الغيرني هالعذاب
كنت وين ؟؟؟؟؟؟كنت وين؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
لما دموعي غرقت فيها
ووجعني جنون لياليها
يا هالكذبة العم تسكني طلعي مني
يا هاللعبة العم تكسرني بعدي عني
وقف ما فيي اسمعلك
بحبك وما بدي ارجعلك
انت الماضي ليش رجعت من النسيان؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
توعي قلبي تشعل رماد اللي كان ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
انت الماضي ليش رجعت رجعت من النسيان