Hi, it’s me again, back!
Days went by.. weeks.. & months.
He doesn’t cry.. he doesn’t want to cry.. tears won’t bring her back..he knows.
He doesn’t want to talk about her.. not to a single soul.. not a single story.. cause he knows .
He knows nothing could ever really matter..he knows tears will betray & show him up.. he knows that nobody can actually understand how they were, what she was to him.. how he needs her & how he miss her..nobody can understand his loss.. & how lonely & broken he is without her!
He refused to share his anger , grief & pain.
As days went by, each day his heart grew older.. & his mind went deep in its whirlpool digging for her.. he was so scared her picture was fading & her details were getting blurred!
He ran away from his mind whirlpool .. & he resisted the time’s will ..to forget!
He doesn’t want to forget..he wants everything to stay sharp & clear.. he refuses to admit it..HE WANTS HER BACK! ALIVE!
That night his grief was too hard to bear.. but his anger was even harder.. he lost the “appetite” of “life”.. he couldn’t keep pretending that life goes on.. he couldn’t actually believe that she died.. he just couldn’t keep on living like this..the moon was full.
all of a sudden he burst into tears .. fell on the floor of his balcony crying out loud of despair.. & his tears fell on her orange tree.. the tree she planted long ago.. that tree they used to water together.. & watch it together growing day by day while drinking their cup of tea & spreading their dreams among its leafs.
He opened his tears shed eyes to see a leaf of the tree turning to a crystal plate.. he held the crystal leaf under the direct moon light to see her face looking at him..just like the way she used to be..
He took the leaf to his room..
Another full moon night ,he sat by the orange tree thinking.. his heart was squeezed by regret .. remembering that time he treated her bad..so selfish & self-centered.. he didn’t listen to her..he used to hear her but not LISTEN !
Tears fell on another leaf ..& under the direct moon light he saw that memory of them displayed on the crystal-turned leaf.. he could see it all..
He knew the secret of the orange tree.. & full moon nights .
Every time he fell asleep by the orange tree under the full moon..he dreamt of her..saw her very beautiful.. glamorously & silently looking at him..with all the love she used to give him..so pure..so clear.. seems like she knows it all & knows him deep without saying a word !!
Every time he had a dream of her.. an orange fell off the orange tree & turned into a crstal ball with all his visions & dreams of her displayed inside the crystal sides under the direct moon light.. shining her love upon him..
Nights went by..& gathered all the crystal leafs that fell off the tree with every memory he recalled of her..with her.. with all his emotions of sorrow & regrets.. for all the times he took her for granted .. & all the true loved he never gave an enough care!
He gathered all the crystal oranges of his dreams of her.. with all her looks, smiles..silent gestures & messages.. under the light of full moon..
He put the crystal oranges & leaves together & made a statue of her..
Every time he looked at each crystal orange he saw a dream of her & every time he looked at a crystal leaf he could see a memory of them together..
He was so thrilled he caught up on her.. he didn’t give up to her fading memory or blurred details.. now he has it all.. he has it all clearly displayed on the each crystal leaf & orange of the statue..
Days passed by him sitting down staring at the statue..remembering.. thinking..letting all his sorrow & regrets out..telling her all his stories ..fears & hopes..
He thought he had her again.. he thought he saved his loyality to her memoir..
He thought he could bring her back again.. thought he could HAVE her back again…
He used to sit for hours by her crystal statue..looking at it..
Days went by..
He made his final decision.. he decided to do the best for him .. & her.
He decided to let go of his selfishness & let her REST IN PEACE!
He wrapped the crystal statue & put it inside his closet.
& moved on.
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