Everyday's Question (3)

Hi, it’s me again, back!

Is it time to leave? Should I start packing?

Seems like tomorrow I’m leaving, not confirmed yet. Shall never be.

The past days before I got the notice, I‘ve been thinking about my life, where am I now & to where I wanna go. I thought about chances I missed out as I didn’t try to pursue, job opportunities I didn’t apply for.. did I actually want to? No, I don’t. Should I have? No, I suppose.

I thought about things and areas I should have studied to use in my career life.. or should I say degree that would be nice to put under my name card. I questioned myself.. nice valuable input but is my output to science ..to humanity..to myself was even worthy ??   couldn’t answer. Felt I don’t want to.

I thought about places I wanna travel to .. mostly Europe; Paris, Rome, Barcelona, may be Budapest..

I dreamt of prince charming, and the beautiful kids I have some day of him, and having them playing in picnics.. our sweet home, and happy moments we would share together.

I thought about my new Havana brown bag , and planned going for shopping a matching pair to shoes. I thought about laundry, and having my car washes as well.

I thought about my career, my opinions, my thoughts about everything going around me & their management and .. my “honesty” dealing with it all ..

I was obsessed by my To-read list.. and the novels and books I haven’t finished yet.

I thought about the current MEGA PROJECT of my life… my Book, what I’m writing & when I’ll finish it & how I’ll get it published.

I thought of people around me.. and some solitude I’m craving for.

This morning I’ve been noticed.

Should I start packing?

I thought about my “BIG STONES”, those I’ve already set in my “jar of life”.. I missed a lot.

People I aspired their prayers for mercy & good memory.

I thought about the most important book to read.. the Qoran.. and wondered if I read it well..read it much & how I was in desperate need for doing more.

I needed some “sustainable” deeds and meanings to put.

About all the people I’ve known, family, friends, colleagues, mates, what’s the final broadcast I wanna send? …Hi All, wish u good things and.. I DON’T CARE.

I needed to make sure that this list is included in my packing..

My prayers, my fasting, words of truth, moments of faithfulness, moments of weakness and supplication my creator, the owner of my soul and existence, my God Allah.

The bag I’m taking out of my life should always be ready for the zero hour.

Date is always unknown though the time is set.

The question should always be there.. every night..

Is it time to leave?.. should I start packing? Am I ready?